Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops