What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Charlie Sheen

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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