A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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i had sex.

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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your sister has 1 boob thats funny

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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