Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What has two legs? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down +22

TRICERATOPS!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock Dave's not here.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Women deserve equal rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Mogok Papiti.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops