My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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