Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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black people

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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