A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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lets bomb africa

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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