- Anti Joke

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

Nathan likes butt games with African American men

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Allah walked into AK Bar

An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.