What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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Poop

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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