What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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What is funnier than 24 69

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Dyslexics are teople poo

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops