Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Your adopted

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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