"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops