Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

thumb_up thumb_down +17

who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops