shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Horse.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops