"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops