If you were a pie I'd eat you

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops