Mogok Papiti.

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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SUCK MY NUTS

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Women's rights

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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