A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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