A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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How did th-A fridge.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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Tall asians

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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