A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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WILLYS

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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