Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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i had a black friend once......just kidding

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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