Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Dont read this joke

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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