Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

What do you do at a club? You club.

why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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