A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

thumb_up thumb_down

Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

thumb_up thumb_down

what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops