Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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69

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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read me write me

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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