Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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