What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops