There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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The cream, it is coming

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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MAKE

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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