What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Well this is pointless.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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