How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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