How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

No it doesnt..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops