My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Women deserve equal rights.

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Knock knock come in.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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