How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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