Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Neither have I, nobody knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call your mom? mom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

mark is life

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops