While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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