A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Obama

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

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Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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