A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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