Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Rylan Clark

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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