How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

thumb_up thumb_down -14

01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -14

if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops