Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops