joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down

Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down

I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down

An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

thumb_up thumb_down

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down

What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Actual jokes are now obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops