A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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