Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

AND

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

A black guy gets arrested...

What do you call your mother? Mom.

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...