If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

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A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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