A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

anus

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops