Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...