Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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