Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -3

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I put my baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wolfjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops