What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

pee

There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

Smeg...

Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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