A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Caolan and Eamon

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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