HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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This sentence is a lie.

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You idiot thats 9 letters

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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