What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops