A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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What is the name of the car? What

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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