Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops