Joesph Triphook.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

I don't get it

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

Stop procrastinating.

A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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